The last person to be giving advice on love and dating would be this single 27 year old writing this whilst in bed on a Saturday night. The dating world is a confusing one and I have made every single one of these mistakes when it comes to dating so I’m talking from experience.
One. Do not pretend to be somebody your not.
Be yourself from the very first date, pretending to have certain interests, habits and characteristics just to connect with the other person will just start that relationship on false foundations. There were many instances when I was younger where I pretended to have the same interests in hope that my date would make it to the next, but eventually it will fizzle out as your true self will surface and it may not be what that other person will like. I was with a guy for 8 months who told me he shared the same opinion on drugs, eventually it came to light he had a weed habit more important to him than I was, so the relationship ended.
Two. Don’t dive straight into bed.
Try to have three or four dates before sleeping together, I have made this mistake for too many times. The longer you leave it, you will know it will last if the other person has made it that far happily, not only that it builds up the need for each other. I have slept with someone on the first date twice, both times I have been left burnt after just two weeks of seeing that person. Offering up the goods up front gives away the opportunity to build up mystery and desire.
Three. Reign it in
New relationships and dating can be exciting, it’s all new but don’t let yourself get carried away. Going zero to a hundred so soon will just drop as quick, avoid the double, triple texting if they don’t respond straight away, wait a few hours or even until the next day to get in touch, they genuinely might be busy and flooding them with messages can overwhelm some. Keep it steady, keep seeing each other to once or twice a week, if you rush into everything, your just going to rush to an end.
Four. Pay your share
Chivalry dictates that the guy should pay for the first date, and whilst this is still a tradition you shouldn’t attend a date without the means to pay for your half. Every date I have been on I have always gone to pay my half, I have never been allowed but I still try to insist to pay for the drinks or desserts, depending on what we are doing on the date. When I’m in a relationship I always try to take it in turns to pay, so if he paid for the first, I will pay for the second.
Five. Actions speak louder than words.
Trust shouldn’t be something freely given, it needs to be earned. Try not to be naive to believe everything, promises made early on in a relationship are usually broken. Until their actions back up their words keep them at arms length. I recently came out of a relationship where we promised to never hurt each other, be honest and to not abandon each other, we both broke all of them, I was left broken hearted, feeling abandoned and I don’t think we were a hundred percent honest with each other either. Looking back they were ridiculous promises to make, but thats where I made mistake of freely giving trust and letting my feelings over run my head.
Of course I’m no expert, I only speak from experience but if your love life is as hopeless as mine, I hope this little bit of info on dating mistakes will help.for when you meet the next person.