Adults in the playground

You will never reach higher ground if you are always pushing others down.” – Jeffrey Benjamin

At what age do we expect bullying to stop?

Is it something a person can grow out of or is it a character flaw?

As much as we would like to think we can leaving bullying behind at school it very much follows us into adulthood. Bullies cannot and will never change as it is their personality whether they know it or not and at some point or another we have all been guilty of being a bully.

“A definition of bullying

There is no legal definition of bullying. But it is usually defined as repeated behaviour which is intended to hurt someone either emotionally or physically, and is often aimed at certain people because of their race, religion, gender or sexual orientation or any other aspect such as appearance or disability.

Bullying can take many forms including:

• physical assault

• teasing

• making threats

• name calling

• cyber bullying

Bullying can happen anywhere: at school, travelling to and from school, in sporting teams, between neighbours or in the workplace.”

I have experienced bullying since a child and even continues to this day, why? Because people like to put others down to make themselves feel better.

I’m not exactly new to blogging I have always been back and forth as for me it has only been for my own personal growth and hobby, i’m not the best writer but it helps with my anxiety and depression. Recently I joined a support group for bloggers on Facebook. One thread was to post a link to any social media platform, I posted a link to my facebook page, i liked other’s pages and links as was asked. Later in the day my post was commented on “This is not a blog”, I explained it was the facebook (a social media platform so I thought) page to my blog, I was told that I was wrong, and this person then tagged other women to join in. This is a classic case of cyber bullying, I blocked these women and removed myself from the group as its not very supportive as it advertised! Was I upset by this? No I was not, instead I felt sorry for these women. They clearly have nothing better in their lives than to sit on facebook putting others down, these are also known as trolls.

Another popular environment for bullying is the workplace, the adults playground as I say.

Your work environment is a second home to most, we spend 5 days a week in the same company, it’s very easy for emotions to run high, especially if you work in a demanding environment. Most workplace bullies do not realise their actions, workplace bulling can be gossiping, criticism, segregation, jealousy, etc. It also comes down to levels of maturity, if you employ young adults, naturally you have to expect immature behaviours, most popular the “mean girls” attitude. Groups will form, stemming favouritism and then work loads become affected as some will not be willing help out those not in their “group” causing work loads not being equally shared out, it causes divisions and a uncomfortable environment.

The most important thing I have learnt in life is that you HAVE to treat those how YOU would expect to be TREATED. I show others respect and i expect respect in return, if it is not given as received I will no longer no make an effort with that person, I shall be civil but that person will not deserve anything more than that.

The best way to survive bullying is to smile and not let it get to you, Easier said than done I know, confidence is key, and no I don’t mean confidence in being the loudest in the room, i mean confidence in YOURSELF. To know that you are BETTER than these people.

Beat the bullies by focusing on yourself, your personal growth as an adult, a friend, a family member, a loved one, as the only opinions that should matter are the ones that contribute to your happiness and adventure in life. Everyone else are just faceless people of no importance.

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